So these adorable pictures of Jeremy Renner and his guitar float around my tumblr dash quite often. I love them. My problem is that my first reaction EVERY TIME I SEE THEM is: “Awww. He’s so cute, and he’s wearing a Scorpions shirt. Sigh. I liked the Scorpions back then, too.”
The fact that Renner and I are the same age startles me sometimes, and it startles me every time I see these pictures and that damned shirt.
I’ll totally do your grading for you.
And I hope you know that I’ve been thinking of this for the last four hours going, ‘How the fuck can I pay Al to grade at least my 1,000 pieces of homework that are going to come in? It’s ten percent of their grade and Al is awesome at writing and totally qualified to grade homework. How can I do it? Sigh. I’m not sure how I could, but if I could, I totally would. I would pay you to grade homework if I could.’
The best essays come from the moment in which people really need to work something out.
It begins with a character, usually, and once he stands up on his feet and begins to move, all I can do is trot along behind him with a paper and pencil trying to keep up long enough to put down what he says and does.
The new semester of classes starts Monday. I teach at a huge community college in the Midwest, and I am quite fortunate to have a full time appointment there. I have tenure. It’s a very, very good gig to have and I’m grateful for the way my life has worked to position me there.
I say that in advance because I also look at the start of a new semester in faint horror. As an English teacher I do not give scantron or other types of exams. I give a department-mandated set of Four major Writing Projects and One final portfolio. That’s five major writing assignments per student. Also, instead of quizzes I give ten homework assignments that are two page analysis of reading assignments. That’s fifteen written assignments outside of class (let’s not even talk about in-class writings). I get a break this semester thanks to another project, so I ONLY have 100 students. So I ONLY have to grade 1500 writing assignments in 16 weeks.
Yes, I signed up for this. Yes, it’s a VERY good gig.
No, I am not actually complaining. I am simply stating that I think every English teacher starts the semester slightly afraid.
And then we just do our best and get tired.
Howl’s Moving Castle
2004 Japanese theatrical poster